Brain drain

I wrote an awesome post yesterday with my race plans and more. It disappeared. I’ll rewrite again soon.

I have worked the last 5 nights in a row and I have 2 more to go. This is self imposed torture because I picked up Sunday night as an extra shift. The weekend was great at work, but all hell broke loose last night and when the shit hits the fan on a psych unit it hits hard.

Most of the nurses I have worked with suck at team work and many of them are martyrs.

People in “charge” have a very hard time accepting help even if it means lightening their work load to free them up to do more important tasks.

I’m soul searching today.

I am still uncertain of what I want to be when I grow up. I am certain that it’s not what I’m currently doing.

I refuse to eat my feelings today. I want to because that’s what I’ve always done and still continue to do so at times, but I will not do it today! I’d like to not do it ever again.

I ran the most wonderfully refreshing 9.5 miles yesterday morning after work. I took off from the parking lot of the hospital and ran around the town I work in. It was not a pretty route at all, but the sun was shining and the  temperature was so perfect for a run. I smiled a lot and I made incredibly impressive time considering the stops and starts for traffic.

Carlos and I played tennis yesterday afternoon. We suck at it, but we are getting a little better each time. We laugh at ourselves, run around after the tennis balls, get fresh air and spend time together. It makes us happy.

The other day Carlos and I ran a mile together. He only took a few breaks and didn’t complain. I was impressed. We are running a couple of races together this summer and we are super psyched about them.

Carlos is losing teeth like crazy. He has lost 4 bottom teeth and finally lost his first top tooth. He looks like a jack-o-lantern. He is my pumpkin after all.

My baby boy is graduating from Kindergarten in a few weeks. I’m wondering where the last six and a half years went.  I feel like I savor my time with him, but just thinking about how quickly time has flown by makes me want to freeze each and every moment.

One of my dearest friends is courageously fighting breast cancer. She starts chemo this week. Please keep her in your prayers. She’s in mine.

Since my post didn’t go up as planned yesterday I want to send out a belated thank you to all those who serve or have served our country in the armed forces. Also to the families of our soldiers my heartfelt thanks goes out to you as well for the sacrifices you make each and every day.

I have so much to be thankful for in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel blessed.

What makes you smile these days? 

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6 thoughts on “Brain drain

  1. Sending hugs to your friend. My SIL and two cousins are breast cancer survivors – both over 7 years now!

    OMG,when my sister and I play tennis all we do is laugh we are so bad – but our abs get a good workout!

    My favorite line of this post? “I refuse to eat my feelings today.” I think that will be my mantra!

  2. Aye, I had a long Hood to Coast recap post that I wrote and posted last August and it disappeared — I’m still bitter!

    Sounds like it was a lovely run — and fun running with Carlos. I ran with a coworker’s daughter once who shares my name and it was a mess. We were doing a 5k and she (and her mom) had assured me she was prepared. We ran at her pace and she hit the wall big time at mile 2. The last mile was a constant stream of walk breaks, and then she’d want to run again and it would be at a full sprint for about 30 seconds, then walking again. No moderation of speed at all. Aye, aye, aye! Kids!

  3. It’s so hard to feel like your work is unfulfilling. I’ve been there before, and the only advice I have is to make a change. Whether that means taking the plunge into applying for a new job at a new place or simply getting yourself into a better headspace, that’s up to you. I know it’s helped me immensely, and I hope it helps you.

    My 5-year-old niece is “graduating” from Kindergarten next week, and it’s just crazy how fast the time has gone. I can’t imagine how it feels for you as Carlos’ mom. Enjoy each moment!

  4. I’m keeping your friend in my prayers and sending lots of hugs.

    Kindergarten graduations are the cutest thing ever! My little cousin just graduated pre-k, sooo adorable!

    I’m sorry that work is bleh lately, but I love that you still keep positive and talk about having a blessed life. Lately my pup, the kittens that a stray had and we ended up with and my boyfriend all make me smile 🙂

  5. Sorry to hear about your friend, sending good thoughts and hoping the chemo gets that bad stuff out. Crazy K is over and 1st grade is on it’s way!!

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